I work hard at maintaining a healthy lifestyle. I eat only corn-fed, hormone-free beef and free-range eggs and chicken. I get eight servings of organically-grown fruits and vegetables per day. I cook only with olive oil. I run 4 miles per day. I don’t eat processed sugar. I floss. I avoid caffeine, nicotine, and anything else with an ‘ine’ in it. I meditate 30 minutes in the morning and 30 minutes at night. I use only eco-friendly laundry detergent. I bicycle 10 miles per day, uphill both ways. I avoid alcohol. I don’t take prescription drugs. I get regular check-ups. I eat cottage cheese.
Now…if I could just stop sniffing glue.
